


pot buddies (with benefits)

by yukheybitch



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blowjobs, Casual Weed Smoking, Drunk Sex, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, High Sex, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Moaning, Panic Attack, Recreational Drug Use, Sex, Smut, Some Plot, Unrequited Love, Yukhei is whipped, handjobs, they get high and they fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-06-21 07:47:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15552984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukheybitch/pseuds/yukheybitch
Summary: Yukhei just wanted to smoke some weed, he definitely didn’t expect Jungwoo’s beautiful face to show up and smoke with him. And then have sex with him.Soon, it happens again. But the only problem is ...Wong Yukhei has caught feelings.





	1. casual sex

Yukhei was just your average college student: tired, stressed, and eager to get drunk. He sat in the lecture hall, his head resting in the palm of his hand as he slowly fell asleep to the droning sound of Professor Jung’s ramblings. He could catch up later he stupidly told himself —Wong Yukhei never caught up anything. Finally, the endless droning stopped and Yukhei was awoken by the closing of notebooks and chatterings of his fellow roommates. He stood up, let out an over-dramatic sigh, and headed out for lunch. He had almost arrived at the cafeteria when his gaze was averted by a bright blue notebook he immediately recognized.  _ Jungwoo _ . Ah yes, Jungwoo. The light of his life, the apple of his eye: all those insanely cheesy things that Yukhei always thought were beneath him. But then again, Yukhei had never thought he would meet someone as perfectly beautiful as Jungwoo. The boy, though a year older, was a freshman just like him. They had friends in common which meant they hung out quite often, just not alone. When Yukhei had first laid eyes on the boy he had quite literally fallen —he’d tripped over a rock on the ground and gracefully slammed himself against the dirt, much to the amusement of Kun and Doyoung. In one word Jungwoo was dainty… and angelic. One word wasn’t enough ok? He had porcelain skin, a straight nose which ended in an adorable rounded tip, perfectly proportioned lips that looked way too kissable for Yukhei’s good, and dark brown perfectly symmetrical eyes that were either lost in some other universe, or staring deep into your soul. His voice was the softest sound Yukhei’s ears had ever had the pleasure of hearing and honestly he wanted Jungwoo to make audiobooks because maybe then he would actually read something. 

 

  But the notebook, yes. Normally Jungwoo couldn’t be seen without it, it was always under his arm or sticking out of his bag or open as he scribbled God knows what inside. Yukhei really really wanted to know what Jungwoo wrote inside but he was morally conflicted: he was just looking inside to be sure it was Jungwoo’s handwriting right? Or was he just curious as fuck to know what his cute crush had been writing in the notebook since the beginning of the semester? The latter definitely. Yukhei couldn’t even  _ pretend _ to be a good person. He decided to compromise and look only at one page. He flipped the book open to a random double spread and was surprised to see not words but beautifully intricate watercolors of flowers that spread across both pages. They were outlined and detailed in thin black marker that highlighted the careful, mastered painting of the petals. Yukhei was taken away. He had no idea Jungwoo drew. It had never even been brought up in their group hangouts. He really really wanted to look through the other pages but he forced himself to slam the book shut and shoved it —gently— into his bag before walking back to the cafeteria. 

 

  Yukhei plopped down in front of Jaehyun with his tray and let out a long groan. 

 

“What’s up man?” Jaehyun asked grinning at Yukhei’s distress. 

 

“I did something morally iffy but I don’t feel bad about it.”

 

“What did you do idiot?”

 

“I found Jungwoo’s notebook, you know the one he’s always writing in? And I, uh, i looked inside and-”

 

“Ahhhahhh I don’t want to hear it. It’s his secret and unlike some people I don’t actively seek it out and disrespect his privacy. You better give it back man.”

 

“I haven’t seen him yet. Will you pass along the message that I have it if you see him? Oh and could you not mention that I looked inside?” Yukhei poured and flashed his best puppy eyes. 

 

“Yeah sure but only if you stop acting like a three-year-old who wants candy.” Yukhei flipped him off with a sweet smile. “Better.”

 

“Bye bitch see you later.” Jaehyun leaned back in his seat. 

 

“See ya.”

 

Yukhei’s professor was absent which meant that his classes were over which meant that he had time to perform in some illegal activities (read: smoke weed). Yukhei slammed his small apartment’s door behind him and made a beeline to the bottom drawer of his room’s dresser where he pulled out his already rolled blunt. He grabbed the lighter from his kitchen, sat down on the couch, lit it, and sighed loudly.  _ Fuck that’s nice.  _ Smoke curled out of his lips and he was halfway through when he was rudely interrupted. 

 

  Someone knocked on Yukhei’s door. He put out his blunt quickly and opened all the windows hurriedly, doing his best to clear the smoke of the room. He was more than a little high so this task proved more difficult than it should have been. He looked through the door’s peephole and was completely and utterly surprised to see Jungwoo’s beautiful, although admittedly a little disheveled face, staring back at him. Without thinking twice he opened the door. 

 

“Hey thereee Woooo. Whatcha doing here?”

 

“Are you smoking weed?” The other responded directly, completely disregarding his question. Yukhei grinned, then remembered Jungwoo was an honor-roll student entirely capable of telling on him and then getting him expelled.

 

“Uhm no? My friend was here five minutes ago and he smoked some even though I told him not to and then before I could clear the smoke you came and—”

 

“I’m not gonna tell anyone if you let me have some.”

 

“You want to…smoke?” Shit maybe Jungwoo was not as perfect as he let on. 

 

“If you couldn’t tell I could really use something to relax at the moment.” Yukhei took a look at the purple bags underneath Jungwoo’s eyes, at his messy hair and his slumped posture and decided that yes, he needed weed. 

 

“Come in.” Jungwoo stepped inside. “Why are you here anyways?”

 

“I’m pretty sure you took my notebook. I left it on a bench. Jaehyun said he had seen you with it.” Oh, right the blue notebook with the drawings of flowers. 

 

“Oh yeah. I have it iss real niiice. Should I go get it or…?” Yukhei pointed to his half-finished blunt with his eyes.

 

“You can get it later.” Jungwoo sat down and, as though it were the most natural thing in the world, placed the blunt between his perfect lips and gestured with his hands for Yukhei to give him the lighter. Yukhei fumbled around in his pocket.  _ My fucking crush is currently sitting on my couch with my blunt in his mouth and wants to get high with me. Could be a worse way to get close. _ Jungwoo lit the blunt on his first try and sighed loudly and he took a long drag. 

 

“Fuuuck that feels good.”

 

“I didn’t take you for the, you know…”

 

“Pothead.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“It’s not a regular thing but it helps me relax when I get too stressed. I haven’t smoked in a while though this is good. Want some?” Yukhei nodded and was going to take the blunt from his hands when Jungwoo placed it near his lips. Yukhei blushed, it was stupid but this felt so intimate. They finished the blunt between them quickly and Yukhei, sensing that Jungwoo wasn’t quite satisfied, lit a second one for him. The weed was finally hitting him completely, and he suddenly felt completely at ease and relaxed. Jungwoo started giggling suddenly. 

 

“Whaaat?” 

 

“I was just thinking. We shared the blunt so we basically kissed. Like indirectly.” Yukhei giggled too. 

 

“We might as well kiss for real then.” Jungwoo laughed harder. 

 

“Mmmkay don’t move.” Jungwoo sucked in his cheeks and took a looong drag from the blunt, set it down on the table and placed himself on Yukhei’s lap who was starting to get a little confused. He placed his thumb on Yukhei’s bottom lip and forced opened his mouth, before placing his mouth on the younger’s and blowing all the smoke in his mouth into his. Then he leaned back and smiled sinfully as Yukhei blew it back out. 

 

“Haha. Gay.”

 

“I’m high and I still hate that you said that idiot.” Yet Jungwoo still didn’t get off his lap, and a small smile was playing on his lips, which seemed to hide much darker intentions. Yukhei decided that now was as good a moment as ever and leaned in and placed his lips on Jungwoo’s: properly this time. Jungwoo kissed him back fervently, way more into it than Yukhei had expected (not that he was complaining, how could he?). They pressed their lips together again and again, until Yukhei, completely giving in bit down on Jungwoo’s bottom lip, asking for permission. Jungwoo whimpered, and opened his mouth, letting Yukhei’s tongue explore his mouth, and moaning into his ministrations. Yukhei moved down to Jungwoo’s neck, leaving wet sloppy kisses.

 

“Jesus fucking Christ Jungwoo.” He murmured against the other’s neck, as he sucked and nipped at the skin above Jungwoo’s Adam’s apple and reveled in the beautiful noises he was making. “You’re so  _ loud.”  _

 

“Mmsorry.” Jungwoo shied away from Yukehi’s mouth all of a sudden, his shy character visible once more. “I-I can stop.”

 

“God no please don’t it’s so hot.” Yukhei pulled him close again, and, licking a wet strip over the blooming hickey on his neck, lifted his hips upwards and grinded  _ hard _ against Jungwoo’s growing erection. Jungwoo whimpered loudly, and started grinding against him as well, his face buried into Yukhei’s neck.  _ Fuuuuck _ . Everything felt ten times better when he was high.  _ Should do this more often _ , Yukhei thought as he grabbed Jungwoo’s ass in his hand. 

 

“ _ More Xuxi please touch me _ .” And shit how could he refuse. Yukhei unzipped Jungwoo’s jeans, forcing him to stand up so he could pull them off and at the same time took off his shirt. Once Jungwoo was settled on his thighs again, he slowly started palming his cock through his boxers. Jungwoo was slowly becoming a whimpering mess, moaning hard whenever Yukhei applied a little more pressure and when Yukhei finally slipped his hand into his boxers taking his dick into his hand and passing a thumb over his slit, Jungwoo bit down  _ hard _ on Yukhei’s shoulder. 

 

“Why do you still have your pants on?” Jungwoo asked between moans. Yukhei was slowly stroking him up and down, occasionally palming his head. “And  _ ahh _ why are you going so slowl _ ahhh _ -” Yukhei smirked, it had been so easy to reduce Jungwoo to a moaning wreck, and god it was hotter than his wildest fantasies. 

 

“Your wish is my command.” They both stood up again, but this time when Jungwoo straddled Yukhei again, they were both fully naked and Yukhei’s cock joined Jungwoo’s in his hand. He stroked them fast and hard, the pressure of their throbbing shafts together felt so fucking good he didn’t think he could stop. 

 

“ _ Xuxi sto-stop I’m-I’m gonna cu-aaah-m.” _

 

“That’s the goal isn’t it?” Yukhei set a faster pace. “Wanna see you Woo, c’mon.” With his other hand that had been resting on the small of Jungwoo’s back (*cough* his ass *cough*), Yukhei pushed Jungwoo’s shoulder back so he could see his face which was currently buried in his neck. And well  _ fuck _ . Jungwoo’s eyes were lidded, his mouth slightly ajar with the tip of his tongue sticking out was letting out obscene moans. The bright red hickies on his neck were gonna be a pain to hide. 

 

“You’re so beautiful baby.” Yukhei suddenly leaned forward and bit hard on the biggest hickey he had left: the one on his collarbone and Jungwoo came all over their stomachs in thick spurts of white. The spasms of Jungwoo’s dick against his was enough to make him come everywhere too. He continued to jerk them off through their orgasms and taking in Jungwoo’s blissed-out smile and cum-covered chest, he decided that he was glad he had accidentally stolen the older’s notebook. 

 

“Mmmm that was nice.” 

 

“Just nice?” Jungwoo was still pretty high but Yukhei had sobered up almost entirely. Which was probably why he was starting to hear the little voices in his head telling him that this hadn’t been a good idea. 

 

“I haven’t cum so hard since, like, ever.” Yukhei choked as the downright filthy words left Jungwoo’s pretty mouth. 

 

“Haha yeah me neither.” God why was this so awkward?  _ Probably cause you were just jerking off a practical stranger and now his cum is all over his stomach and you’ve always been bad at small talk _ . Yukhei swept away his thoughts and stood up gently, making sure Jungwoo was sitting properly on the couch before heading to his bathroom. He grabbed a washcloth, wiped himself down, and threw on a T-shirt and boxers before heading back to the living room where Jungwoo was fast asleep on the couch. How could someone he barely knew make his heart beat so fast? Yukhei gently cleaned Jungwoo and, ignoring the other’s complaints at being woken up, put his shirt back on. 

 

“I’ve got to head out,” he had promised to meet Jaehyun at a nearby bar, “but if if you leave before I get back the key’s on the kitchen counter and you can slip it into the mail slot once you’ve closed it. I’ve got a spare. Ok?”

 

“Mmhmmm.” Yukhei took that as a yes and with one last longing glance at the angelic figure napping on his couch, he closed the door behind him. 


	2. the aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys asked really nicely so here it is!!

Yukhei was late for his meetup with Jaehyun. But that was inevitable. Jaehyun didn’t even act annoyed that Yukhei was late, he was seated at a table with Mark and Sicheng, having the time of his life. 

 

“Uhm hi traitor?”

 

“You’re thirty minutes late sorry if I didn’t want to sit alone like a loser.”

 

“Too late you’re already a loser.” Yukhei grinned and pulled up a chair, joining the small group. 

 

“What’s your excuse this time?” Sicheng asked.

 

“Uhm? I was, uh, actually I can’t say. I think?” Yukhei wasn’t sure what to call what he’d just experienced with Jungwoo, and he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to talk about it. He was hoping it wasn’t just a one-time kinda thing. Jungwoo has seemed way too into it for it to be meaningless sex. Right? Or was it just the weed making him so…  _ extra _ ? 

 

“What the fuck dude. C’mon we’re your friends.” Jaehyun said in fake offense. 

 

“I can tell you I got high. Anything after that happened is off limits.”

 

“Whatever man.” The other three shook their heads and started another conversation about their group projects and the fuckfaces they had been assigned to work with. Yukhei offered a couple remarks and jokes but was all in all more silent than usual: he couldn’t stop hearing Jungwoo’s moans, seeing his hickey-covered neck and swollen cock, feeling the older’s mouth against his. His silence did not go unnoted: once Mark and Sicheng left, claiming fatigue and homework Jaehyun turned around in his seat and confronted him. 

 

“What the fuck happened Yukhei?”

 

“I-I, uh…”

 

“Spit it out.”

 

“IhadsexwithJungwoo. Well not exactly  _ sex _ but like definitely  _ sex-related _ things.” Silence. “Jaehyun?”

 

“Stop. I’m processing.  _ Sex _ ? With  _ Jungwoo _ ? The guy you’ve been fawning over for like 3 months?” 

 

“Not sex. Well not exactly.”

 

“STOP. I don’t want to know what gay shit you do behind doors.”

 

“Pfff as if you don’t mention it every time you fuck Doyoung.”

 

“That’s different.”

 

“Is it?”

 

“ _ Sex _ . With motherfucking  _ Jungwoo.  _ I thought he was a prude.” Yukhei chuckled. 

 

“Yeah definitely  _ not _ a prude.”

 

“Motherfucking Jungwoo.” Jaehyun muttered under his breath. 

 

“I’ll drink to that.” So they did. 

 

*****

 

Yukhei knew that Jungwoo wasn’t going to be there when he got home, but as he opened the door and was met with an empty couch he couldn’t help the little tug of disappointment in his heart. He slipped off his shirt and pants and jumped into bed, dreaming of Jungwoo’s lips on his. 

 

*****

 

It was currently 4 o’clock. And Yukhei was hanging out with Mark, Sicheng, Jaehyun and  _ Jungwoo _ in the park. Mark had forced him to come, taunting him with free food and forgetting to mention that Jungwoo would be there too. From the outside, Jungwoo seemed to have completely forgotten about his “encounter” with Yukhei. He was back to barely talking to the younger, and the hickeys were covered up with an oversized turtleneck, aka the cutest thing he’d ever seen Jungwoo wear. 

 

“Yo Yukhei how’s space?” Mark asked loudly. 

 

“Huh?” Yukhei snapped out of his dreamy observation of Jungwoo. 

 

“I said how’s space? Since you’re clearly not on earth.”

 

“I uh, it’s nice?” Yukhei glanced at Jungwoo who gave him a soft smile. He blushed hard. Mark chuckled.

 

“Whatcha thinking about dreamer boy?”

 

“Upcoming test. Got to go guys sorry.” Yukhei suddenly had the urge to get away. He was trying really hard to be ok with having almost-sex with Jungwoo but it was seriously stressing him out. He still had a massive crush on the elder and it definitely wasn’t going away now that he’d seen him naked. But Jungwoo was basically ignoring him. Except the smile. What the fuck did the smile mean?  _ Hey nice sex we had yesterday thanks for that bro.  _ Or  _ if you ever mention what we did I will never speak to you again _ . Or _ I hope we can do some explicit stuff again soon and maybe we can date someday.  _ Yukhei shook his head violently.  _ No! Stop overthinking it Wong. It was a one-time-thing, there’s no point obsessing over it and _ \- Yukhei turned around all of a sudden. The weight of a hand on his shoulder had startled him out of his downward spiraling. The hand belonged to Jungwoo. Jungwoo who was currently looking at him shyly, as though he really wanted to say something.

 

“Uh, hey there Jungwoo-hyung.”

 

“Hey.” He said softly. 

 

“What’s up?” 

 

“I had a really nice time yesterday.” 

 

“Oh yeah? Yeah uh me too.”

 

“See you later.”

 

“Later.”  _ WHAT THE FUCK DID THAT MEAN _ ?  _ I had a really nice time yesterday?????? Did that mean he wanted to do it again?? He had said see you later…  _ Yukhei really needed to get drunk or high right now. He couldn’t believe it was only Wednesday. His phone vibrated in his pocket. 

 

**gayhyun:** yo mark is having a party at his frat house this weekend you in?

  
**to gayhyun:** fuck yes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed a third chapter is in the works so make sure to press that subscribe button!!


	3. a little too drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yukhei is drunk. Jungwoo is high. Time to have sex they guess.

The frat house was dark. And loud. Really fucking loud. Honestly whoever was in charge of the music was lucky Yukhei was drunk as fuck because he wanted to yell at him right now. Currently, he was dancing with Sicheng in the main room, a Solo cup filled with Malibu Rum and Lipton Iced Tea splashing around when he wasn’t drinking from it. It was his fourth or fifth cup of the stuff, and he was finally hammered enough to have forgotten Jungwoo. Well almost. 

 

“HEY SICHENG!” Yukhei called out suddenly.

 

“YEAH XUXI?” Unlike him, Sicheng, designated driver of the night, was completely sober. 

 

“I SLEPT WITH JUNGWOO!” Sicheng visibly choked on the boring Iced Tea  _ sans _ alcohol he had been drinking. 

 

“WHAT THE FUCK.” Sicheng yelled back, confused. 

 

“YEP.” Yukhei smiles widely. Everyone was gonna know about him and Jungwoo by the time this night was over. He decided that that’s what Jungwoo deserved for straight-up ignoring him these past three days. He was actually headed to tell Mark the good news when he was suddenly pushed into a bedroom by, well, Jungwoo. Again. 

 

“Ssstop it maaan. You’ve gotta sstop ssstopping me when I’m going placessss.”

 

“I heard you tell Sicheng we slept together.” Jungwoo seemed a little angry, but also a little concerned. Fuck it actually Yukhei had no idea how the older was feeling because he was fucking DRUNK. 

 

“Yeah sso whaat. Iss not like you care anyway.” Jungwoo frowned. 

 

“Look just stop telling people ok? Let’s keep it secret.” It was Yukhei’s turn to frown. 

 

“Okurrr but only if you kiss meee.” Haha Yukhei had got him now. Jungwoo would walk out of the room because he obviously didn’t want to kiss Yukhei since he didn’t like him enough to speak to him and then Yukhei would tell everyone and he’d win. 

 

“You’re lucky I’m high enough to do it.” Jungwoo was high? Now that he thought of it, the boy’s pupils were dilated and his eyes were red. And he also had been smiling a lot at everything Yukhei said even though it wasn’t really funny. But then Jungwoo’s lips were on his again. And Yukhei was pretty sure half the alcohol left his body at once, because he was suddenly very focused. He grabbed a fistful of Jungwoo’s hair and pressed his mouth against his harder, reveling in the moan that came out of the other’s lips. This time he didn’t hesitate. Yukhei shoved his tongue down Jungwoo’s throat and kissed him harder, wetter than before. He grabbed the end of Jungwoo’s shirt and lifted it up, then did the same to himself. Bare chest to bare chest he peppered kisses against his jaw. 

 

“Bed. Now.” Yukhei nodded hungrily, and grabbed Jungwoo’s ass from off the floor and threw him on the bed —gently . He locked the door and straddled Jungwoo’s hips before starting to lick and bite at the skin on his collarbones again. The hickeys from last time we’re almost faded, and some primal urge in Yukhei to mark Jungwoo overcame him. He kissed and sucked the skin in spots all over Jungwoo’s neck until they were red and swollen. He pulled away from Jungwoo’s neck, and smiled, satisfied with his work. Jungwoo looked wrecked again: though the weed was probably making everything ten times more intense for him. He whined at the loss of contact, dogging his fingers through Yukhei’s hair and trying to bring his mouth back to his skin. 

 

“Why’d you stop. Cmon.” Yukhei grinned and unbuckled Jungwoo’s pants, pulling them off completely and doing the same for him. He leaned down and took Jungwoo’s left nipple into his mouth, sucking and biting the hardening bud  as he started grinding down on the other’s erection through their boxers. Jungwoo moaned louder again, a raspy noise that was even hotter than Yukhei recalled. Hm sensitive nipples? He’d remember that for later. He bit and nipped it then moved on to the other, all the while rubbing his cock against Jungwoo’s through their boxers. Jungwoo was taking it all so beautifully, arching his back to grind harder against Yukhei, throwing his head back on the pillow as he continued to make sinful noises, and grabbing Yukhei’s ass in his hands. 

 

“ _ Feels so good Xuxi _ ,” Jungwoo breathes out as Yukhei palmed his erection through the underwear, creating a delicious friction, “ _ more please want you to aahhh fuck me. _ ” Ok maybe Yukhei was still drunk because he was pretty sure he was hearing things. 

 

“You what?”

 

“Fuck me. Want your dick in me. Need it. Please.” Nope not hearing things. Those filthy words were really leaving motherfucking Jungwoo’s lips. 

 

“Really?” 

 

“Yes  _ please  _ cmoooon.” 

 

“Ok ok.”  _ Deep breath Wong. You can do this just find some lube and condoms.  _ Yukhei stood up from the bed. And fell. “Ow shit.” Ok so drunk enough to be clumsy but not drunk enough to be hallucinating voices. 

 

“Hurry up.” Jungwoo whined, and when Yukhei stood back up he almost fell down again. Jungwoo had taken his boxer’s off and was jerking himself off at what seemed to be a tortorously slow pace, occasionally digging his thumb into his slit. His left hand was clutching a fistful of the sheets, and his mouth was wide open as he softly moaned and fucked into his hand. 

 

“Ok. Ok.  _ Fuck _ .” Yukhei pulled open all the drawers he could reach and did an internal victory dance when he fell on a box of condoms and an unopened package of lube. He jumped back on the bed and pulled Jungwoo’s hand away from his cock. 

 

“How impatient.”

 

“ _ Hurrry _ up then.” Jungwoo’s cheeks were all red and even though they were in probably the least soft situation possible, Yukhei couldn’t help but notice how adorable Jungwoo looked. 

 

“You look so cute.” Jungwoo’s cheeks burned a brighter shade of red and Yukhei’s heart sped up at how the elder had reacted to his words. Then he remembered he was supposed to be having sex with him. He grabbed a pillow and placed it under Jungwoo’s back and put lube on his fingers before slipping a first digit inside. Jungwoo whined; in discomfort or pleasure Yukhei couldn’t really tell. He moved his finger around and didn’t wait long before adding a second, scissoring Jungwoo open and all the time searching for that special spot. Jungwoo’s whines were now definitely out of pleasure. He stretched Jungwoo open, prepping him thoroughly, as he pressed against his walls, and thrusted deeper. Finally, Yukhei reached the small bundle of nerves that had Jungwoo screaming his name. He added a third finger and made sure to press right against his prostate every time he fingered him open. Jungwoo was thrusting back in probably the most incredibly hot way ever. 

 

“Just fuck me  _ now _ .” Jungwoo groaned out. Yukhei couldn’t stress enough how fucking beautiful Jungwoo was whenever he was laid out and wrecked before him like this. He wishes he could take a picture and frame it in a museum because Jungwoo looked like art. He removed his fingers, smiling at the impatient whine Jungwoo let out at the loss. He slipped the condom on and lined himself at his entrance and slowly pushed in, until he had bottomed out, groaning at how tight the older was. He reached forward and pushed a strand of hair out of Jungwoo’s eyes. 

 

“You good?” 

 

“Yeah just fucking  _ move _ .” 

 

“Your wish is my command.” Yukhei pulled out almost completely and slammed back  _ hard  _ into Jungwoo, setting a brisk pace and thrusting with enough force to make the bed creak. 

 

“Feel s’good Woo, so tight.” 

 

He changed his angle, trying to find Jungwoo’s sweet spot. 

 

“Oh fuck  _ fuck  _ yeah right  _ aHHH _ there.” Yukhei kept fucking into him at the same angle as he felt his release start to build up in the pit of his stomach. He took Jungwoo’s cock in his hand and started stroking him following the rhythm of his own thrusts. 

 

“You’re so fucking hot.”

 

“Mm gonna cum  _ ahhh  _ soon.”

 

“Me too.” He thrusted faster as he felt the warmth in his stomach building up. 

 

“I’m-I’m cu _ aah _ mming.  _ Yukhei aahhh. _ ” Jungwoo screamed his name as he came all over their stomachs in thick ropes of white. Yukhei milked him through his orgasm and kept fucking into him, cumming soon after, his vision white with pleasure. He collapsed onto Jungwoo, who pushed him off with a grunt. 

 

“Ew you’re spreading cum everywhere. Also you’re heavy.” Yukhei felt dizzy with pleasure. He hadn’t had sex that good in months, and he hadn’t had sex that good with a guy, like,  _ ever _ . He grabbed the tissue box on the dresser and did his best to clean himself up. He was about to clean Jungwoo too but the other just took the tissue from his hand and did it himself. Yukhei was a little disappointed: he always loved aftercare. 

 

“Mmm gonna sleep a bit.”

 

“Do you always fall asleep after sex or?”

 

“Shut up. Mm tired.” Jungwoo cuddled close to Yukhei who inhaled sharply. He was afraid to breathe, as though Jungwoo was going to run away if he knew Yukhei was there too. Jungwoo wrapped an arm around Yukhei’s waist and pressed his face into Yukhei’s neck. Yukhei just stayed still, trying to calm the beating of his stupid heart. It was becoming really hard to tell the love-crazed voices in his head that the sex was meaningless. 

 

****** 

 

He woke up to an empty bed, not that he was surprised. Just disappointed. Again. He checked the clock, it was only 1 AM, the music was still booming, though the door was doing a pretty good job at blocking it out. Yukhei couldn’t believe he’d fallen asleep, but Jungwoo’s warmth and sweet scent had rocked him into a sleepy slumber. He really didn’t want to go home, but at the same time he wasn’t really down for partying anymore so he scoured the house trying to find Sicheng. He must have look pretty desperate because just as he was about to enter the kitchen, Johnny stopped him with an inquisitive glance. 

 

“You ok?” 

 

“Yeah, yeah just need to find Sicheng.”

 

“He’s outside. I saw him with Yuta. You sure you’re good?”

 

“Thank you.” Yukhei ignored his question and practically ran to the backyard, searching the faces in the crowd for his friend. Finally,  _ finally _ , he saw Sicheng and tapped him on the shoulder. 

 

“Hey Xuxi!” The older greeted pushing a stray strand of hair away from his forehead. 

 

“Can we go? Like now?” He asked, switching to mandarin because he didn’t want the others to worry about him. He just needed to be alone right now. Sicheng seemed surprised. 

 

“You want to  _ leave _ ?”

 

“Yes.  _ Please _ .” Yukhei could feel his heart starting to beat harder in his chest, his pulse quickening and his throat tightening. He was either going to start crying soon, or have a panic attack. Or both. He had no idea why he was freaking out so hard.

 

“Ok, ok. Uh wait.” Sicheng grabbed Taeil’s shoulder and whisked him around to face him. “How much have you drank?”

 

“Uh, one beer. And a half, maybe?” 

 

“Ok stop drinking you’re the new designated driver. I swear to god if you don’t bring Doyoung and Kun back safe I will rip you a new one.”

 

“Wait wha-” Taeil started. Sicheng sent him a sweet smile. 

 

“Thanks.” He grabbed Yukhei’s wrist and dragged him through the backyard to his car. Yukhei was definitely having a panic attack now. His stupid fucking body had failed him once more, and for no fucking reason. Sicheng opened the passenger door and sat Yukhei down on the seat, so his legs were dangling out of the car. 

 

“Xuxi what’s wrong?” He questioned the younger worriedly. 

 

“P-panic attack.” Yukhei knew he was breathing too fast, but he couldn’t help it if his lungs were shrinking. 

 

“Ok. It gonna be ok, I just need you to look at me.” Sicheng ordered. “Follow my breaths ok?” Yukhei looked up into his eyes, and started breathing in long and slow like Sicheng was, and then breathing out longer and slower. Slowly, his hammering heart started to beat a little less fast, his lungs grew bigger, and he finally was able to talk. He felt a couple tears still succeed in running down his face and he wiped them away angrily. 

 

“M’sorry.”

 

“For what? Having a panic attack? What happened Xuxi? The last time I saw you, you said something about having sex with Jungwoo then left. Is that what this is about?”

 

“I did it again.” 

 

“What?”

 

“I, uh, we…you know. But then he wasn’t there when I woke up and then I freaked out for some reason cause I don’t really mind…”

 

“You and I both know you don’t do meaningless sex.” Yukhei may have seemed like a bit of a fuckboy, but he was really a hopeless romantic. He just wanted someone he could love every morning when they woke up, and every night when they went to sleep. This whole let’s-have-sex-without-feelings thing was not really his vibe: especially since he had already caught feelings. But he couldn’t help it: it was Jungwoo. “You need to stop this Yukhei. It’s not gonna end well for you.” Yukhei hated how reasonable Sicheng sounded.

 

“Don’t fucking tell me who to have sex with. You’re not my mom.” He immediately regrets the words as they leave his mouth, especially when Sicheng’s comforting hand leaves his shoulder. 

 

“Whatever, man. Sorry for trying to look out for you.”

 

“I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant. I just- He’s never gonna feel the same way about me Sicheng. I’m just taking what I can.”

 

“It’s ok I get it. Well I don’t. You’re gonna get hurt Yukhei, you’ve already gotten hurt. I just don’t want you to waste time on someone who doesn’t want the same things you do… But I’ll always be here for you.”

 

“Don’t worry, it’s gonna be ok. I can deal with it.” Yukhei forced himself to smile, more to reassure himself than Sicheng.

 

“If you say so.” The older responded warily. “Let’s get you home.”

 

“Uh actually can I sleepover at yours today? You live closer and I’m really tired, I just want to sleep.” Actually, Yukhei didn’t want to walk past the couch where he’d watched Jungwoo cum all over his stomach and kiss him hungrily. He didn’t want to relive the pleasure, and then the disappointment that ensued. He wanted to erase the memory, but he also didn’t want to forget. Sicheng cocked an eyebrow, seeing through Yukhei’s bullshit excuse. 

 

“Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops my finger slipped and now there’s angst haha


	4. oops we did it again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More pot. More sex.

Yukhei honestly wasn’t surprised that Jungwoo didn’t talk about what had happened. And he’d decided to be okay with it. He’d told Sicheng he could be fine with having nothing more than a sexual relationship with Jungwoo and he meant it. So what if his heart hurt when he thought too much about it? He was Wong Yukhei goddamnit, and he could be stronger than any stupid crush he was harboring. He sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh, pretending like his dumb brain wasn’t picturing Jungwoo holding his hand and kissing his cheek.  _ Nope, purely sexual thoughts over here folks.  _ He was about to go shower, when the doorbell rang. He sighed loudly, and wearily went to open the door. Upon spotting the disheveled face of Jungwoo on the other side, he had a strange sense of déjà-vu. Exasperated, he opened the door.

 

“What is it?” He immediately regretted the harsh tone.  _ No Yukhei! You’re not in the wrong here!  _ But it was so hard to be mad when he saw how nervous Jungwoo was, his teeth biting at his bottom lips, beautiful eyes facing towards the ground as he passed his sinful fingers through his hair. 

 

“I, uh, wanted to say sorry. For the other night.” Now what in the hell was that supposed to mean? If Jungwoo felt bad did that mean he hadn’t wanted to leave that night? And did that mean that he maybe wanted more than sex? And did that mean that Yukhei had a chance? But, no they were under influence and- Jungwoo’s voice interrupted his train of thoughts. “It was wrong of me to take advantage of you when you were drunk.” Once more, Yukhei’s heart shattered into a million pieces. Jungwoo didn’t regret leaving. He regretted being there in the first place. 

 

“Because you weren’t high as shit? You didn’t ‘take advantage’ or whatever Jungwoo, I’m not the victim of your untamed libido. We both wanted to fuck. So we did.” The angry words left Yukhei’s mouth before he could stop them. Any remorse he’d felt at making Jungwoo look so nervous evaporated. He was fed up with being treated like a fucking mistake. It was as though Jungwoo was afraid to commit to what he’d done, like having sex with Yukhei was the worst possible offense. Jungwoo didn’t say anything, continuing to avoid his gaze, so Yukhei continued. “We’re both adults. You don’t need to ignore me everytime we touch each-other’s dicks. If you want to do the whole friends with benefits thing with me, just say it.” The last part was more for Yukhei’s benefit than for Jungwoo’s, he needed to hear those exact words leave Jungwoo’s mouth, to be sure that the older didn’t want anything more than sex so that he could once and for all crush the hopeless romantic part of his brain that insisted on trying to convince him that he could have a real relationship with him. 

 

“The thing is,” Jungwoo started, his soft, almost angelic, voice ringing out quietly, “I’m not looking for a relationship. I don’t want that, ok?” Yukhei felt a bitter taste take over his mouth. “I, just, I don’t know if  _ you _ can do that --the whole sex without feelings thing. We might not be that close friends but I still know you’re a romantic at heart. That’s why I wanted to say sorry. Because I don’t want to lead you on.” Yukhei scoffed, a sad attempt to hide his growing heartbreak. 

 

“Listen, I don’t know who the fuck told you that, but I don’t  _ need _ a boyfriend ok? I can have sex with you without falling in love.” He cringed at his weird choice of words.  _ As if.  _

 

_ “ _ Are you sure?” Jungwoo asked, his voice still calm and quiet. He looked so put together, any trace of guilt or nervousness erased, and his eyes now looking straight into Yukhei’s. It was the younger’s turn to be anxious. He had a decision to make. He could say no, settle for being Jungwoo’s friend and hoping that one day his boyish crush would eventually fade. No meant living with the fact that he couldn’t touch Jungwoo anymore apart from his usual ‘bro hugs’ and other meaningless slaps on the back and friendly punches. No also meant that he had no choice but to move on, giving him a chance to find someone else, maybe even someone better than Jungwoo (no matter how ridiculous that sounded right now) that could love him the way he loved them, and kiss him not because they wanted to fuck, but just because they simple just wanted to express their love. On the other hand, he could say yes. Yes meant kissing Jungwoo’s soft lips again, placing his hand in the curve of the older’s waist, and leaving love bites along his flawless skin. Yes meant watching Jungwoo fall apart beneath him, scream his name as Yukhei made him feel so, so good. Yet, yes also meant knowing that the touches and bites he would leave on Jungwoo’s skin would be just that, nothing more than physical actions, devoid of feelings and love. Yes meant having to struggle with his feelings for however long this lasted because if he kept having sex with Jungwoo, then his crush wouldn’t go away anytime soon. Yes meant that he could have Jungwoo, but not in the way that he would have wanted. Yes was option better-than-nothing. And his heart was too far gone to choose anything else.

 

“Yes.” Yukhei’s voice was clearly strained. He wasn’t sure what was supposed to happen next, if Jungwoo would walk away now, leave him until the next time he needed a good fuck. 

 

“Ok then.” Jungwoo walked past Yukhei into the apartment, cool, collected, devoid of any hint that could give away as to what he was thinking. “I’ve been meaning to ask, do you have any weed leftover? I swear I’ll pay you back sometime.”  _ Just you being here is worth more than any stupid joint.  _ Yukhei’s inner romantic was really spiraling out of control. 

 

“I, uh, yeah, uh?” He wanted to hit himself for incoherently stuttering everytime Jungwoo spoke to him. The older just hummed contently, prompting  Yukhei to leave the room and go get his stash. To his surprise, Jungwoo followed him, permeating the air with his customary silence. Yukhei sat on the bed, trying really hard not to stare at Jungwoo as he made his way across the chinese boy’s bedroom, occasionally skimming one of the many objects and pictures that littered more than decorated it. Jungwoo’s hand stopped on a picture of him and Sicheng. They were both jumping in the air, mouths opened wide in a silent joyous cheer, surrounded by cherry blossom petals and golden sunlight. It was one of his favorite pictures, he’d went downtown just to get a nice frame for it, and it had a place of honor on his small desk.

 

“Cute.” Jungwoo mumbled. Yukhei wasn’t really sure how to answer that without sounding like a bumbling idiot, so he just nodded, a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips. He stopped admiring Jungwoo’s graceful movements and concentrated his attention back onto the blunts he was carefully rolling.

 

***

 

Jungwoo hadn’t planned on staying any longer than necessary, but then Yukhei had opened the door, sweatpants hanging low on his hips, and tussled hair falling gently on his forehead, and all his resolve had melted. He hated how affected he was by the younger, he couldn’t let himself fall for Yukhei. Jungwoo didn’t do relationships, they never worked out and he was tired of being heartbroken. He knew he was attractive, but when boyfriends eventually realized that he was more than a cute, smiling face, that he could get angry and sad, they tended to distance themselves more and more, staying only when they were sure Jungwoo was back to his customary shy happiness. He always broke up with them before they realized that what they felt for Jungwoo wasn’t love, but more so a conditional adoration. That didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt. 

 

So friends with benefits it was, if he could even consider Yukhei a friend. He knew next to nothing about the younger, apart from the fact that he was insanely hot and knew how to make anybody smile. Maybe it was better that way. He turned his attention to the numerous photographs and memorabilia strewn haphazardly over the surface of Yukhei’s bedroom. Fact #3: the guy was messy. Clothes lay in heaps in one corner of the bedroom, the desk was unusable, there were piled up papers, folders and binders covering its entire surface. Upon approaching, Jungwoo spotted a framed photograph rising up from the chaos: Yukhei and, uh, his friend —Dicheng? Sideng?— jumping in the air with giant smiles on their faces. Yukhei looked so adorable with his goofy grin and his limbs sprawled in the air, the quiet ‘cute’ escaped his lips before he could hold it back. He turned to see an awkward smile on Yukhei’s lips, and the younger went back to licking the rolling paper, an action that didn’t go unnoticed by Jungwoo. Everything Yukhei did was a tortorous mix of cute and sexy --probably one of the main reasons hanging out with Yukhei without developing a crush was going to be so hard for Jungwoo. 

 

“Here.” Yukhei was handing him a joint, his lips still wet with spit, and his muscled arms sticking out from the sleeves of his t-shirt. Jungwoo took it gratefully, not skipping a beat to lean down so Yukhei could light it. He took a deep drag, closed his eyes, and sighed, satisfied. He didn’t usually like having two joints in such a short period of time, but Yukhei was really testing his limits --he was so, so afraid that the younger was already crushing on him, and that their whole friendship with benefits thing would end in violent chaos.  _ Oh well, no need to dwell on that, Yukhei has just made it very clear he just wants sex, not a boyfriend. Guess Doyoung was wrong: hopeless romantic my ass.  _ Jungwoo shook his head with a small smile, and took another deep drag, letting the relaxing effect of the drug take over. He lied down on the bed next to Yukhei, who had already smoked away almost half of his blunt. Yukhei lied back as well, his head landing on the pillow inches from Jungwoo. They just lay there, smoking, all tension forgotten now that they were high as fuck. Jungwoo put out his joint on the metal base of Yukhei’s bedside lamp, and let it fall on the ground.  _ Not like he’s gonna notice with all the mess on his floor. _ Jungwoo looked over to the side and sharply breathed in: Yukhei’s lips were inches from him and the younger was silently gazing at him. Jungwoo still didn’t move as Yukhei leaned in just a little bit to softly press his smooth lips against Jungwoo’s. He didn’t do anything else, just delicate kisses over and over and over again. Jungwoo’s heart beat faster in his chest: what was Yukhei doing? Fed up, he crashed his lips sloppily against Yukhei’s --was that a sigh he had heard escape Yukhei’s mouth?-- and slipped his tongue into the younger’s mouth, all the while crawling on top of him so their hips were straddling. Yukhei sat up, and placed his strong hands on the nape of his neck, bringing him closer. Jungwoo messily explored the depths of Yukhei’s mouth with his tongue, but Yukhei still didn’t make any moves back, just letting Jungwoo kiss the shit out of him. Jungwoo whined loudly, grinding his hips against Yukhei’s, as though asking him to do  _ something _ . 

 

And he did. Yukhei growled loudly as he started to attack Jungwoo’s neck with his mouth, biting down harshly as he ripped his and Jungwoo’s shirt off. Jungwoo just moaned loudly, letting himself be marked, eagerly continuing to grind down on the already growing bulge in Yukhei’s pants. Yukhei nipped over the skin on his Adam’s apple, biting, sucking, kissing until the spot was red and inflamed. He licked a wet stripe over the sensitive area and smiled wickedly when Jungwoo mewled.

 

“So, so sensitive for me baby.” He ran his hand down over Jungwoo’s neck, admiring his handiwork, not stopping until he ran a thumb over his nipple. Jungwoo whined again, louder as he buried his face into Yukhei’s neck. Yukhei growled again. “Look at me. Why do you keep hiding? You’re so beautiful.” Jungwoo blushed. How could one go so fast from insanely sexy to insanely endearing? “Take off your pants.” Yukhei grinned again, mischievous: he knew exactly what he was doing, Jungwoo was so easy to fluster. Jungwoo slid off the bed, and threw his sweatpants and boxers to some corner of the room, where it immediately blended in with the decor. He stumbled back into Yukhei’s lap, and gasped when the younger took him in his strong arms and placed him on his back. Yukhei ran his hands over Jungwoo’s chest, and started kissing his purpling hickies again. “Can I suck you off?” Jungwoo moaned, god how could he just  _ say that _ ?

 

“God yes, please, please.” Every touch, kiss, and caress Yukhei left on his skin was heightened by his drugged state. Yukhei was slowly making his way down Jungwoo’s torso with his lips, teasing the older. He left chaste kisses on each hip bone, following the deep curve of his v-line. Jungwoo did his best not to look too desperate, keeping his hips anchored into the bed. Just as Yukhei’s lips should have landed on his cock, Yukhei bit down on the soft flesh of his thigh. Jungwoo whined, digging his fingers into Yukhei’s hair. “S-stop  _ teasing _ . Please, please, touch me.” Yukhei licked a wet stripe from the base of his cock all the way to the head. Jungwoo almost screamed

 

“God I love it when you beg.” Yukhei took the head of his cock into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks as he bobbed up and down the length. What he couldn’t reach with his mouth, he stroked with his hand, reveling in the beautiful sounds coming from Jungwoo’s mouth. He suddenly took more of Jungwoo’s length into his mouth, letting the head of his cock bump against the back of his throat. Jungwoo groaned appreciatively as he pulled harder on Yukhei’s hair. Yukhei continued to suck him off, occasionally letting Jungwoo fuck against the back of his throat and putting pressure on the underside of his cock with his tongue. God he was so, so close. 

 

“Yukhei,  _ aahhh _ ,” Yukhei had removed his mouth from his dick, only to start mouthing his balls, all the while stroking him off faster and faster. “Mmm gonna come.” Yukhei just hummed and took Jungwoo’s length into his mouth again. He looked so perfect, his head in between Jungwoo’s thighs, drool escaping his wet lips, and hair all messed up from Jungwoo pulling on it. Suddenly, Yukhei swallowed around the head of his cock and Jungwoo saw white, he didn’t even have time to warn Yukhei before cumming  _ hard _ down his throat with his mouth open as he moaned even louder than before. Yukhei didn’t pull off, letting him ride through his orgasm and he sinfully swallowed every drop of cum. He licked his lips with a wink as he sat back up on the bed, his throbbing erection visible through his pants. 

 

“C’mere, wanna make you cum tooooo.” Jungwoo was still high as shit, but the urge to make Yukhei feel good was stronger than that to sleep. 

 

“Mmm’k baby. Watcha gonna do?” 

 

“Wanna touch yooouu.” Jungwoo was aware of how sex-crazed he sounded but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He just wanted to put his hands on Yukhei, kiss him and mark his neck just like he had done to him, but the younger wasn’t making any signs of moving. 

 

“What’s the magic word?” Jungwoo frowned.

 

“Fuck you.”

 

“Eeeh,” Yukhei imitated the sound of a buzzer, “wrong. Try again baby.” Jungwoo watched as Yukhei began to palm his erection through his sweatpants, his eyes staring straight into Jungwoo’s as he moaned softly. That was enough for Jungwoo to take action, he sat up with a new-found burst of energy and swatting away Yukhei’s hand, passed his own hand under the waistband of Yukhei’s pants and boxers and the same time and took Yukhei’s cock into his hand, stroking him slowly. All banter was forgotten as Yukhei moaned loudly and started thrusting up into Jungwoo’s hand. Jungwoo took advantage of Yukhei’s proximity and latched his lips onto the skin right underneath his earlobe and started to suck and bite: revenge for the marks that littered Jungwoo’s torso. Yukhei keened into Jungwoo’s kisses. 

 

“Faster, faster.” Jungwoo smirked into Yukhei’s neck, raising his head slightly so his lips were right next to Yukhei’s ear. 

 

“What’s the magic word?” 

 

“ _ Pleeaase.” _

 

“So sweet for me.” He picked up the pace, and soon Yukhei told him he was going to cum. Jungwoo dug his thumb into the slit of Yukhei’s cock, and the younger moaned and came all over Jungwoo’s hand and stomach. Jungwoo milked him through the orgasm, then fell back on the bed, beckoning for Yukhei to join him. Soon, they fell fast asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys the updates will be a little more hectic now because of school but I’ll do my best to finish the story ASAP!! Love y’all thanks for all the love uwu
> 
> -m <3


	5. never coming back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oops sorry my angst key got stuck
> 
> eek enjoy? if possible?
> 
> warning for extreme sadness

It had been going on for probably a month now, give or less. Jungwoo was smoking more than he knew he should but it was an excuse to see Yukhei. Yukhei of the thousand and one charms, of the stupid laugh and dumb smiles.

And Yukhei of the mind-blowing sex. Everytime Jungwoo came over it always ended with them fucking on literally any surface they could find. The bruise Jungwoo had gotten from slamming against the corner of the coffee table --which hadn’t even slowed them down-- was still a dull purple on the back of Jungwoo’s thigh. Though honestly he had bruises everywhere from Yukhei’s lovebites. Yukhei was more than meaningless sex though at this point. Jungwoo didn’t have many friends apart from Doyoung, and he knew that his shyness wasn’t exactly a good quality for building lasting relationships. But the sex with Yukhei had basically erased any barriers between them, and Jungwoo had connected with the guy: in a purely platonic-but-with-sex kind of way. Yukhei was funny, and easy to be around. He didn’t mind doing most of the speaking, which was good because most of the time Jungwoo really only contributed small smiles and nods to a conversation. Yesterday, Yukhei had been ranting on about how Sicheng was refusing to admit to Yuta --another of Yukhei’s endless collection of friends Jungwoo guessed-- that he had a massive crush on him even though apparently “Its so fucking obvious Yuta is in love with him. They need to tell eachother and then be gross boyfriends so Sicheng will stop whining to me about it.” Jungwoo had been listening, but been distracted by the sun setting outside, the bright pinks and oranges lighting up the sky beautifully. He’d barely noticed the silence that had suddenly taken to Yukhei until he’d turned around and seen the younger staring directly into him, as though he were reading his thoughts. Jungwoo had felt his cheeks burn, and tried to ignore the small smile Yukhei had given him because it warned him of everything he didn’t want to happen, it seemed to be a premonition of romance, of feelings, of things destined to end badly.

So Jungwoo had taken matters into his own hands and stuck his tongue down Yukhei’s throat, desperately rutting against his thigh and begging him to fuck him raw, all hints of romace erased. Yukhei had obeyed, but there had been a look in his eyes at one point, a sort of faraway sadness that left as soon as it had appeared. Yesterday was when Jungwoo had made the decision.

The decision to stop.

Jungwoo had been ignoring the longing looks Yukhei threw him for too long, and the slight pull in his stomach whenever he spotted the blond mop of hair in the distance. He was doing it today. He had told Yukhei he would be stopping by towards two after his last class. Jungwoo checked the clock hanging precariously on the wall, the second hand ticking closer and closer to the end. He had hoped Yukhei would stick around as a friend, but he knew that was stupid. It would just hurt them both. Yukhei would be fine without him, he had Sicheng, Yuta, Taeil, and countless others to replace Jungwoo. Jungwoo had Doyoung. If the older wasn’t too distracted chasing around Jaehyun to deal with his stupid shit. Jungwoo swallowed down the ball in his throat at the sound of the bell ringing. He shoved his blank notebook into his satchel and sent Yukhei a quick text saying he was on his way. Walking down the hallway’s of the dorm, his stomach turned around on itself and he felt like throwing up. You can do this Jungwoo. It’s for our own goods. Collecting himself quickly he knocked timidly on Yukhei’s dorm room. Yukhei opened the door, shirtless. Oh. The younger’s stupid abs on display. Jungwoo quickly entered inside and prayed Yukhei would put on a shirt. He took a seat on the couch and listened as Yukhei rummaged around his kitchen before coming back, a shirt slung over his shoulder --thank God-- and a bowl of chips. 

“Hey.” Yukhei plopped down on the couch next to Jungwoo, who couldn’t help but flinch away and sit rigidly on the edge of the couch. “Wassup Woo?”

“I, uh, we need to talk.” Yukhei popped a chip in his mouth and turned to face him, a smidge of concern hidden behind his reassuring smile.

“Sure what’s up?”

“I’ve been thinking really hard, and this arrangement we have, the smoking, the fucking I don’t think it’s ideal I think we should, you know, maybe, I mean I’ve decided I want-”

“Just say it hyung.” Yukhei didn’t look scared, or happy, entirely neutral. And it was terrifying.

“I think we should stop the meaningless sex. I think we should stop everything. I think we should stop seeing each-other.” Yukhei wasn’t neutral anymore, he stood up from the couch, looking down on Jungwoo with a glare of fury in his eyes.

“Are you fucking serious right now?” The anger in his words went all the way to the bottom of Jungwoo’s heart.

“Yes, I- where did you think this was going?”

“Oh I don’t know Jungwoo,” Yukhei spit out, his voice dripping with sarcasm, “maybe you were asking me to go out with you? Stop the meaningless sex, stop the fucking and start having sex that means something, or like ‘making love’ or whatever the fuck. You think I haven’t noticed the way you look at me when I’m not looking? Or the way you blush when I tell you you’re cute. And for the record I like you. In fact I like you a lot and I think you’re being fucking stupid because I know you like me back.”

“I don’t.” Jungwoo whispered.

“What?”

“I, uh, don’t.” He repeated, louder. 

“Bull-shit. And what do you mean we shouldn’t see each-other anymore? Do you want me to just stop being your friend?”

“Yes. I-I just think it’s the best way. To make sure we stop this entirely.”

“Why do you want to stop?” Yukhei’s voice cracked on the last syllable, and Jungwoo’s heart began to break. “I could understand the sex you know, maybe even not wanting to go out with me even though you clearly like me, but our friendship? You want to break that?” 

“I don’t want to. But we should. It’s better… for us.”

“In what fucking way? Fuck you Kim Jungwoo. You don’t know what’s better for us,” Yukhei was crying now, and Jungwoo was doing everything he could do to stay composed, “you’re just scared, and now-now you want to run away. Because I guess that’s what you do, get attached then run the fuck away. Well stop it. Don’t let the fear get to you. Stay. For fuck’s sake, stay. Please.”

“I-I can’t. I’m sorry Yukhei.” Jungwoo stood up awkwardly, and started to walk away.

“I swear to god Jungwoo, if you leave you’re never getting me back.” Jungwoo turned around.

“I’m so sorry Yukhei.” He opened the door, and took one last look at Yukhei crying on the couch before closing the door behind him and walking as fast as he could back to his apartment. He barely made it before the warm drops began to run down his cheeks and the sobs wracked his entire body. It was over. It was really over.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the beginning of the end!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back hoes I’m sorry for how long it took me to get my shit together anyways enjoy!!!

To say Yukhei was doing badly was an understatement. Jungwoo’s visit two weeks ago had fucking destroyed him. Though he’d told himself since the beginning that he and Jungwoo would never happen, the hope for a real relationship had slowly built up in the back of his heart everytime he saw the older. He  _ knew _ that his feelings were no longer unrequited, because meaningless sex wasn’t supposed to involve the intimacy which him and Jungwoo had achieved. They didn’t just  _ fuck. _ They flirted, and kissed and touched, and eventually had sex, and then they would cuddle and kiss again. That wasn’t fucking, it was something more. And Yukhei had made sure to stay as calm as possible when Jungwoo said he needed to talk to him, because he had thought he knew what the older was going to say and he didn’t want to freak him out by being excessively excited. Then he had said…  _ that _ . It had taken Yukhei a moment to realize what he meant, and then he had been fucking furious. How could Jungwoo just casually destroy everything they’d built together? The older had been so composed, so calm, as though Yukhei had never meant anything to him this whole time, and that was fucking with him. Had Yukhei really just imagined all the signs that pointed towards something more than casual sex? He had been so convinced. Once Jungwoo left, Yukhei didn’t stop crying for at least another fifteen minutes. The tears staining his cheeks, the sobs shaking his entire body as he hugged his knees and tried to convince himself everything would be okay. Even though it probably would never be. Yukhei wasn’t sad anymore though, no he had moved on to anger, and indifference. Fuck Jungwoo. Fuck him and his cute smile, his adorable laugh, his way of listening to everything Yukhei said. Yukhei could do better than some idiot that was blind to what was right in front of him. 

 

“...and thus was born the Chinese empire. Any questions?” Their History of China teacher’s voice finally made its way back into Yukhei’s previously inattentive ears. He quickly looked to his left and copied down the meticulous notes Sicheng had been taking. For someone who was supposed to be forgetting Jungwoo, Yukhei sure was thinking about him a lot. 

 

“Party tonight at Mark’s. You coming?”

 

“No.” Yukhei answered automatically. He didn’t want to go out, didn’t want to see anyone. He just wanted to sit on his couch, and watch TV, and engage in a internal monologue about how much Jungwoo sucked. 

 

“You’re just gonna sulk on your couch watching mind-numbing k-dramas and talking to yourself about how much you hate Jungwoo?”

 

“What? No.” Yukhei pouted. Sicheng knew him too well, it wasn’t fair. 

 

“Come. Tonight. Come forget Jungwoo.” Yukhei sighed, it was probably a good idea actually. He didn’t really need anymore self-pity at the second. 

 

“Fine. What time?”

 

“Starts towards 8. I’ll-” Sicheng stopped in the middle of his sentence and Yukhei picked his head up from his desk to actually look at his friend. He was looking somewhere in the distance, a slight blush coloring his cheeks. At the end of his gaze, Yukhei recognized Yuta who looked right back at Sicheng and winked. Sicheng blushed harder and shook his head softly before starting his sentence up again: “I’ll come get you at 8 at your dorm. We can go together.”

 

“So you finally gonna tell Yuta you like him?”

 

“ _ He _ told  _ me _ last Monday Xuxi.”

 

“Seriously? Why didn’t I know about this?!”

 

“You’ve been kind of busing hating yourself.” There was a tinge if hurt in Sicheng’s voice and Yukhei felt terrible. He’d been so absorbed in his stupid problems, that he hadn’t even checked up on his friends. Jungwoo wasn’t in his life anymore, so the elder really shouldn’t be taking up all his time. 

 

“I’m sorry for being a terrible friend lately. I swear I’ll be better ok?” Even Yukhei could tell it was a shitty apology. The bell rung out, announcing the end of class.

 

“You should have listened to me Yukhei. That night, at the party. None of this would have happened.” Sicheng slung his backpack over his shoulder, and the two walked out of class and down the hallway. “I forgive you though. Love makes us do stupid things I guess.”

 

“Yeah well I’m fucking over him now.”

 

“No you’re not. But you will be. Just come to the party, we’ll find you a cute boy ok?”

 

“Yeah ok. See you tonight hyung.” Yukhei waved goodbye as the two went off in separate directions. It really wasn’t fair how good Sicheng was at reading people. Yukhei did still like Jungwoo, and everytime he thought about him it hurt so much because he knew Jungwoo would never be a part of his life anymore. God he was going to get so fucking wasted tonight.

 

******

 

  Yukhei was about three shots in in, dancing, or more so jumping up and down, wildly. He spotted Mark near the back of the room and pushed through all the sweaty bodies to get to his friend. 

 

“Xuxi-hyung! How you doin’ man?”

 

“Like I need more shots!” Mark laughed loudly.

 

“Yeah man that’s what I like to hear! Let me go get glasses and some… well anything stronger than beer!” Yukhei whooped loudly, why couldn’t everyone be like Mark, and  _ not _ ask why he looked like shit. Mark was nice, Mark was oblivious to all of Yukhei’s problems --well actually problem, without the s, unless Jungwoo had cloned himself. Mark was fun, not like stupid Sicheng who’d told him since the beginning his heart would get broken. Stupid, insightful Sicheng. Thankfully, Mark arrived, hands full with cheap liquor and plastic shot glasses before Yukhei started to fully downspiral. 

 

“YOU’RE THE BEST, DUDE!” Yukhei yelled over the pounding bass.

 

“THANKS BRO!” Mark shouted back as he poured them brimming shots. “ONE! TWO! THREE!” Yukhei downed one shot, then a second, a third, and finally a fourth. Mark just yelled louder. “YOU’RE THE MAN!”

 

“SO ARE YOU DUDE!” Yukhei threw his weight into Mark as they hugged. With a slap on Yukhei’s back, Mark went back towards the front of the room. Yukhei leaned against the wall, his head spinning a little too quickly for his own comfort. He looked out among the people dancing and spotted Sicheng’s tuft of pastel pink hair waving about. He pushed himself off the wall and unsteadily made his way over to his friend. 

 

“Sicheeeeng.” Sicheng turned around with a frown. “I’m so sooorry. I shoulda listened to you. You were  _ right _ . Jungwoo SUCKED.” Sicheng sighed loudly.

 

“Jesus how much did you have to drink Xuxi?”

 

“Me and Mark did shots.” 

 

“How many?”

 

“I don’t know, how many shots did  _ you _ take?”

 

“None.” A familiar voice rang out. Yukhei turned his head and saw Yuta standing next to Sicheng, nursing a red Solo cup probably filled with shit beer. 

 

“Hi Yutaa. Wassup bro?” Sicheng face-palmed.

 

“How do you become even more of a fuckboy when you’re drunk?” Sicheng asked amused.

 

“I’m good Yukhei, what about you?” Yuta smiled cutely.

 

“Your smile’s cute. I get why Sicheng likes you.” Yukhei sloppily winked at Sicheng.

 

“I hate you.” Sicheng glared at him.

 

“I think his smile is cuter.” Yuta interjected happily.

 

“Awwwww oh my goooddd Sichengieeee you have to marry him okaayy.”

 

“He’d have to say yes to going on a date with me first.” Yukhei slapped a hand over his mouth dramatically at Yuta’s words. 

 

“Hyuuungg,” he whined, “you’ve been pining over him for like… mooontthsss. Just say yesss come ooonnn.” Sicheng was now a bright shade of red. 

 

“Months huh?” Yuta smirked. “Just date me already.”

 

“Yeah well I’ve waited months I can wait a bit longer.” Sicheng snapped and left.

 

“Ah fuck.” Yuta panicked, “Sicheng wait please!!” He cried out as he ran after the younger.

 

  Yukhei had fucked up again, but honestly he was too wasted to feel guilty, that could wait till tomorrow morning. Alone once more, he swerved from side to side, letting the shitty electro music completely filter into his brain, drowning out everything else. He let himself be pushed back and forth through the crowd in the living room, dancing alone, occasionally shouting slurred greetings to his friends before losing them again. Eventually, his random course led him to an empty couch with a view on the entire room. Yukhei watched everyone, his head still feeling like it was simultaneously stuffed with cotton and floating on a vast expanse of water. He managed to spot Sicheng and Yuta again, slow-dancing, Yuta’s hands on Sicheng’s waist and Sicheng’s head on Yuta’s shoulder. Leave it to those two softies to slow-dance to EDM. Yukhei shook his head with a smile, happy the two idiots had finally decided to be more than friends. He spotted Doyoung sitting on Jaehyun’s lap with their foreheads pressed together and probably whispering disgustingly cheesy shit to eachother. A circle had formed amid the drunk dancers, and Yukhei could just barely spot Ten showing off in the center of the formation. The dance major did have a good amount to be proud of to be fair. He finished his dizzying amount of spins and walked straight to Taeyong who was also watching from afar next to the couch Yukhei was on. Ten didn’t say anything, just winked at Taeyong who made a couple incoherent noises as his ears burned a bright red. Ten sat on the armrest of the couch Yukhei was on, legs spread, and mouth slightly ajar, clearly trying to get a reaction from the poor Taeyong who was standing right next to him. 

 

“Hey Xuxi what’s up?” Ten asked with an innocent smile, continuing to ignore Taeyong who was having an existential crisis next to them.

 

“Drrrunk.” 

 

“No kidding. I need some beer myself. Feelin’ pretty hot.” Ten said the last part unnecessarily loudly. 

 

“Duuude stop using me to fuck with, or actually just fuck Taeyong.” Taeyong laughed awkwardly but Ten just turned and gave him the filthiest smile.

 

“Hey Taeyongie-hyung Let’s go get some beers and cool down? Hmm?” Taeyong somehow blushed harder at the pet name.

 

“Uh, y-yeah ok.” Ten locked elbows with Taeyong, turning around and winking at Yukhei as he walked away.

Yukhei looked at across the room again, a stupid grin on his face thanks to Ten torturing poor Taeyong. He saw Johnny talking to Mark about something or other, and Kun speaking animatedly with Taeil. He turned his head, and froze suddenly as he saw a familiar mop of blond hair a dozen feet away from him, chatting to a guy Yukhei had never seen before. Jungwoo was dressed in ripped jeans and a soft-looking pink turtleneck, a conflicting outfit only really he could pull off. Yukhei was suddenly aware of his heart pressing against his chest painfully. Jungwoo looked so good, so put together and  _ happy _ as he held up conversation with this guy Yukhei had never seen before. Yukhei didn’t miss the way Jungwoo casually slipped his hand into the other guy’s palm and pulled him towards the dark hallway that he knew led towards most of the guest bedrooms in Mark’s oversized house. No fucking way. No fucking way was Jungwoo fucking other guys already. How the fuck could he? Did he not feel bad in any fucking way about throwing Yukhei away like a dirty tissue? The anger was back, and this time Yukhei was uninhibited enough to fucking act on it. He stood up, almost falling forward as he lost his balance and headed to the room. He slammed open the first door of the hallway, and was met with an empty room. He cursed and opened the next door: empty again. Damn Mark and his stupidly big house. He put his hand on the doorknob of the last door, and felt his heart jump forward as he realized that whatever he did, he’d lost Jungwoo forever anyways. What exactly was he trying to accomplish? The liquid anger boiling in his blood quickly won over the reason his mind was trying to make him see; he pulled the door open violently. 

 

Jungwoo turned around frightened at the loud noise behind him. He was secretly relieved someone has come to interrupt him, Wooseok was cute but he felt bad for stringing the guy along. He really was looking for a rebound fuck. For some way to forget Yukhei. But how could he forget what was standing the the doorway, looking angry and ready to choke poor Wooseok? Jungwoo slipped his hand out of the other’s hold and gently nudged him of the bed. 

 

“Hey I’m sorry but I think you should go.” Wooseok smiled awkwardly. 

 

“Yeah sure. You have my number anyways. Text me?”

 

“Yeah, of course.” Jungwoo would most likely not text him; the guy deserved better than him. Yukhei stepped into the room, still silent and fuming as he watched Wooseok walk out. He slammed the door behind him. “Xuxi-” Jungwoo started, slipping back into the cute nickname. 

 

“Don’t- don’t call me that.” Silence. “So, you’re already fucking other guys huh?” He asked, his voice tainted with irony and disdain. 

 

“Fuck you. So what if I am? May I remind you I broke our deal? You’re not even supposed to be here, you’re-”

 

“What was your plan Jungwoo? Did you think I would get over you in a couple days? Move on to some other cute guy? Fall in love? Get married? Forget you?”

 

“Eventually. Yeah. Maybe.” Jungwoo answered softly, doubting his answer would be enough to calm Yukhei down. 

 

“How am I supposed to just get over the fact that one of my best friends walked out of my life? How can I deal with the fact that most treasured person in my life didn’t actually care about me?”

 

“I do care about you.”

 

“THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PLAYING AT? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH?” Yukhei started yelling, his voice dripping with anger and resentment in a way Jungwoo had never heard before: he suddenly felt scarily close to tears. He didn’t think Yukhei would be so upset, hate him so much.

 

“I-I just wanted to help you.”

 

“HELP ME WHAT JUNGWOO? HELP ME SUFFER? HELP ME FUCKING STAY HOLED UP IN MY DORM FOR TWO WEEKS AND GET DRUNK OF MY ASS BUT STILL BE THINKING ABOUT YOU? BECAUSE NO OFFENSE BUT THAT’S NOT VERY HELPFUL.” 

 

“You don’t really like me Xuxi.”

 

“Yeah?” Yukhei’s voice cracked, soft again. “And how the fuck do you know that?” But somehow soft was scarier. Soft meant sadness; and anger was normal, quick to leave, temporary, but sadness? Sadness meant tears, and heartache and darkness. Jungwoo never wanted that for Yukhei. He wanted a passing rage and then for him to forget. 

 

“You-” Jungwoo’s eyebrows furrowed, trying to figure out how to explain it without hurting Yukhei more. “You like me because I’m cute. And pretty. And I have a nice laugh, and a nice voice. You like me because I dress in soft colors, and smile wide. You like me because you think I can make you happy.”

 

“You do make me happy.” Jungwoo shook his head. 

 

“For now. But I don’t always want to smile, and be calm and cuddly. And one day I’ll come back from my classes and you’ll say hi to me and I won’t answer because I’ve had a terrible day and you’ll say it again, louder. And I’ll say “what?” because I’ll be annoyed you’re saying it again when I heard you the first time but just didn’t want to answer. Then you’ll say “what’s wrong?” and I’ll say I don’t want to talk about it. And you’ll insist and I’ll end up yelling at you and locking you out of the room so you’ll have to sleep on the couch. And you’ll realize that I’m not really all that cute, and frankly I’m a bit overbearing and stupid and you’ll leave me. And then, both our hearts will be broken. Instead of just mine.”

 

“I’m sorry. I think the alcohol is fucking with me. So, let me get this straight? _You_ _destroyed our relationship_ , because _you have feelings_? Because you’re a _normal human being_? And this is supposed to make me feel better, right?” Jungwoo’s tears fell loose onto his cheeks at Yukhei’s mocking words. Every syllable felt like a knife in his heart. Why was he making fun of him instead of trying to understand? 

 

Jungwoo was… crying? Fuck had he gone to far? Yukhei had come with the intention to rip the older’s heart from his chest, but seeing the tears drip down his face made it all too real. Jungwoo’s stupid, stupid excuse had seemed to detailed to have been made up; there was a reason he was telling Yukhei this, this had happened to him, and he felt like nobody would ever really love him and now Yukhei had gone and made fun of his fears and past heartbreak. God he was so dumb. He took a step towards Jungwoo, careful and slow, and took him into his arms. Jungwoo pressed his face into Yukhei’s chest, his sobs growing louder, and Yukhei rubbed circles on his back, trying really hard not to start crying too. 

 

“I’m so so sorry. I didn’t mean to talk like that, I was just hurt and scared and lashing out. Its ok I forgive you, and you deserve so much better than whatever asshole treated you like that.”

 

“Asshole _ s _ .” Jungwoo whispered quietly against Yukhei’s t-shirt. He was angry now, but for another reason. How could someone, scratch that, someone _ s _ actually believe that Jungwoo wasn’t entitled to emotions other than happiness? It was fucked up beyond words. “You’re still here.” Jungwoo barely whispered. 

 

“Of course I am.” 

 

“Even though I’m crying?”

 

“I think you’re perfect even when you cry.” Jungwoo just cried harder. Yukhei panicked. “Oh my god no what did I say I’m so sorry!! I take it back??”

 

“These ones are happy tears.” Jungwoo’s muffled voice sounded slightly joyful. Yukhei loosened his grip around Jungwoo, suddenly really wanting to do something. Jungwoo looked up, his eyes still red and puffy: god he was beautiful, so perfectly angelic. 

 

“Can I kiss you? Please.” Jungwoo nodded softly. 

 

“Yes. Please.” Yukhei leaned down slightly and took Jungwoo’s lips in his, tenderly kissing him and leaning back with a sigh to put his forehead on the older’s. Jungwoo pouted. 

 

“That’s it?” He laughed

Yukhei kissed him again, letting his lips trail across Jungwoo’s jawline until they were right next to the older’s ear:

“Will you go on a date with me?”


	7. melted sunshine

“A-a date?” Jungwoo blushed. Yukhei brushed a piece of hair away from his eyes gently, holding Jungwoo’s cheek gently in his hand before putting it back behind his neck. 

“Yeah. You know: me, you, a fancy restaurant maybe?” Jungwoo smiled wide, the beautiful curve of his lips stretching across his face. 

“Really?”

“Yes really you idiot.” Yukhei’s thumb rubbed circles at the back of Jungwoo’s neck; that small movement was so calming, so perfect. Jungwoo felt like everything could be okay. 

“Yes. Yes please.” He said, throwing himself into Yukhei’s arms. Yukhei hugged him back, tighter. The warmth and comforting scent of the younger he’d taken for granted felt like melted sunshine was being poured into his heart. “You’re not drunk right?” Jungwoo whispered.

“Not drunk enough to forget this.” Jungwoo giggled and Yukhei leaned back to kiss him again, dragging out the motion. Jungwoo just stood there, taking it in for a couple seconds before kissing him back. He hoped Yukhei would never stop doing that. Jungwoo noticed how he continued to stay gentle, not pushing Jungwoo too far; and he was suddenly worriedly close to tears again. For the first time, he felt treasured. Yukhei rubbed his nose in Jungwoo’s hair as he pressed him close to his chest again. 

“Please don’t ever go away again.” Yukhei asked softly, rubbing circles on Jungwoo’s back. How was this real? He’d been so ready to fight with Jungwoo, to tear him apart, to make him hurt like he’d hurt Yukhei. But Yukhei’s heart was fixed now, magically put back together and then some more. He felt like he was floating, and it was only 40% because of the alcohol. 

“I promise.” Jungwoo yawned, and Yukhei’s heart just about melted. “Can we nap a bit though? This was not how I thought tonight would end and I’m feeling a little drained” 

“How do you do that?” Yukhei asked, looking into Jungwoo’s half-closing eyes. 

“Do what?” He answered, confused and drowsy. 

“Just, I don’t even know how to explain it. Every single thing you do, I want to protect it with bubble wrap, and then roll you in a blanket and cuddle you forever. You’re so… just perfect and it’s getting a little frustrating.” Yukhei chided ironically. Jungwoo took a step back, panicked. 

“I-I don’t want you to feel that way.” Yukhei really had to be more careful, Jungwoo was a lot more vulnerable than he thought.

“No silly,” Yukhei stepped forward again, “I’m joking. It’s frustrating because I have to find new techniques to make sure my heart doesn’t melt everytime you open your mouth.” Jungwoo looked up, a small smile on his face. 

“Oh.” Yukhei’s stomach did a three-sixty and his heart almost tried to jump out of his chest. 

“See that’s what I’m talking about.”

“But I just-”

“There is no ‘just’ with you.” Yukhei jumped on top of the bed, his back against the mattress and held his arms out in Jungwoo’s direction, beckoning him to join. “Now come on, let’s sleep.” Jungwoo yawned again— Yukhei’s heart officially lost it— and joined him on the bed, fitting snugly between his arms and chest. His soft breath fell on Yukhei’s neck and he kissed Jungwoo’s hair. If he could choose any moment to freeze in the world, it would be this one. Frame it, put it in a jar, play it on loop: anything to never forget this sensation of completion, of brimming over with happiness, the dream-like quality of moments that come so close to perfection they seem unreal. 

****

Jungwoo woke up with Yukhei’s arms still wrapped tight around him and squirmed a little to find a more comfortable position, his back finally resting against Xuxi’s chest as he kissed the younger’s knuckles. Everything felt… good. He couldn’t believe he’d fought so hard against this. He should have known that Yukhei wasn’t like the others, and instead he’d crushed the beautiful boy’s heart into a million pieces and- Stop it Jungwoo, everything’s ok now. 

“I can hear you worrying from all the way over here.” Yukhei’s deep, sleepy voice mumbled. 

“You’re literally right next to me.” Yukhei poked Jungwoo’s stomach. 

“Shush.” Jungwoo turned around to stick his tongue out at Xuxi, and found himself face to face with Yukhei, the younger’s lips aligned with his nose. “You’re so beautiful.” Jungwoo felt his face heat up, and his heart beat faster.

“Why do you keep saying that?” 

“Because I want you to remember.” Yukhei said it as though it made the most sense in the world, a universal truth. He propped himself up on his elbow and leaned forward to place his lips on Jungwoo’s. Jungwoo’s heart skipped a beat as he sat up, and wrapped his hands around Yukhei’s neck, bringing him even closer and kissing back. Their position was slightly awkward so Jungwoo took things into his own hands and shifted so he was straddled on Xuxi’s lap. Yukhei grinned. 

“What?” Jungwoo pouted. 

“Nothing.” Yukhei kissed Jungwoo harder, biting on his bottom lip. Jungwoo sighed contently, opening his mouth and letting Yukhei’s tongue slip past his lips. The kiss suddenly became more passionate, their tongues intertwined as Jungwoo pressed harder against Yukhei’s lips. He finally broke the kiss, his lungs politely demanding some air. But Yukhei didn’t stop, his sinful lips tracing the contour of Jungwoo’s jaw as he kissed, and sucked at the exposed skin. Jungwoo couldn’t help the small whimper that escaped his mouth: Yukhei knew how sensitive he was and loved to take advantage of it. As Yukhei began to bite and nip at the skin above his Adam’s Apple, Jungwoo decided to take matters into his own hands and grinded forward, moaning loudly as Yukhei bit harder at the spot on his neck. “A little warning would have been nice.” Jungwoo didn’t say anything, just guided Yukhei’s lips back to his own and rubbed his growing erection against Yukhei’s, carding his finger’s through the younger’s hair as the kiss grew more and more harsh. 

“C-can I suck you off please?” Jungwoo asked out of nowhere, and Yukhei coughed on his own spit. 

“Fuck. How can you just say that? Yes. Yes oh my god yes.” Jungwoo flashed him an innocent smile as he unbuckled Yukhei’s pants and slipped them off with his boxers, stroking his hard length a couple times, reveling in the debasing sounds Yukhei made. “And just last night I was saying how cute and soft you were.” Jungwoo rolled his eyes, and leaned down, licking the head of Yukhei’s cock. Yukhei’s hands immediately tightened around his hair, not painfully but just enough to urge Jungwoo on as he moaned loudly. Jungwoo wrapped his lips around Yukhei’s cock and slowly bobbed forward, and then back, making sure to suck in his cheeks, and press his tongue against Yukhei’s cock as he went up and down, and up and down. Jungwoo could tell the younger was having a hard time keeping still, his obscene moans accompanied with small thrusts of his hips that Jungwoo did nothing to stop. Honestly, he kind of wanted Yukhei to fuck his mouth, it sounded really… hot. He took his mouth of Yukhei’s dick with a wet pop. 

“Do you want to, uh, fuck my mouth?” Yukhei moaned loudly. 

“Are you fucking kidding me? Yes what the fuck.” Jungwoo tilted his head to one side.

“You curse a lot when we have sex.”

“You like it?” Yukhei winked. He was on his knees now, Jungwoo sitting against the backboard of the bed. 

“Maybe.” Jungwoo leaned forward and took Yukhei’s cock in his mouth again, letting the head bob against the back of his throat. This time when Yukhei’s hand found themselves in his hair they pulled a little harder. 

“Are you sure about this?” Yukhei asked worriedly silently praying Jungwoo wouldn’t back out. Jungwoo just hummed against his cock. Well that was enough for Yukhei; he slowly fucked into the wet heat of Jungwoo’s mouth reveling in the tightness around his cock. “Aah fuck. You feel so good baby.” Jungwoo moaned louder around his dick. “Oh you like that don’t you?” Yukhei asked, picking up the pace and fucking against the back of Jungwoo’s throat every thrust. “Like it when I tell you nice things. You take my cock so so good baby, your mouth feels so good when I fuck into it.” Jungwoo moaned again, his hands finally settling at the back of Yukhei’s thighs as he dug his nails into them. Yukhei was so close now: Jungwoo’s mouth felt so perfect, he wasn’t going to last much longer. “I’m close baby, so close I’m gonna come. Aah fuck.” Yukhei moaned loudly as he fucked faster and faster into Jungwoo’s mouth, the warmth in his stomach building up. Out of nowhere, his vision went blurry as he came hard, Jungwoo swallowing every drop. He pulled out and dramatically fell backwards on the bed. 

“Was it good?” Jungwoo asked slyly, licking his lips and joining Yukhei on the bed, running his fingers over the younger’s collarbones. 

“Was it good? What do you think?” Yukhei wrapped his arm around Jungwoo’s waist and pulled Jungwoo closer to him nuzzling against his neck. He shifted his position, his leg rubbing slightly against Jungwoo’s crotch and he heard the older whimper softly. “Oh baby. I can’t believe I almost forgot about you.” Jungwoo didn’t say anything, just grinded up against Yukhei’s leg slowly, his eyelids fluttering, and his mouth open in an expression of divine pleasure. Yukhei couldn’t even say anything, just admire his gorgeous everything: motherfucking Kim Jungwoo who went from soft puppy to sinful god in seconds. It was unbelievably hot watching Jungwoo get off on him, the feeling of Jungwoo’s clothed hard cock against his thigh; using Yukhei to get off. Jungwoo’s lips found Yukhei’s collarbones as he continued to let out breathy moans and whimpers, slowly thrusting up faster and faster. “You’re doing so good baby. Think you can come untouched? Think you can come just like this?” 

“Xuxi, please,” Jungwoo whimpered.

“You’re doing so so good, come on just a little more. Feels good doesn’t it?”

“Ahh yes fee-feels soo go-ood.” Yukhei’s lips found themselves back onto Jungwoo’s neck, and he licked a stripe up one of the bigger bruises he’d left earlier. Jungwoo moaned loudly, stuttering in his hip movements.

“So sensitive for me baby.”

“Y-yes just for you. Aah. All yours. All yours. Right?” Jungwoo asked between moans. 

“Oh yes baby. You’re all mine.” Yukhei bit gently on one of Jungwoo’s hickeys, and Jungwoo’s eyes shut close in pleasure.

“Aaah Xu-xuxiii!” Jungwoo came hard in his boxers, his lips wide open as he whimpered the nickname into Yukhei’s chest. Yukhei peppered his neck with kisses, as Jungwoo came down from his high and snuggled closer to him. Jungwoo let out a content sigh at the feeling of Yukhei’s arms right around him again. He kissed Yukhei’s cheek and settled his head on Yukhei’s chest who smelled his hair and let the wonderfulness of his current situation wash over him. He’d never had such intimate sex with Jungwoo, never known Jungwoo had a slight praise kink because Jungwoo had always urged him to be more violent, harsher in his movements and language: perhaps to avoid getting too attached? Who cared really, he had Jungwoo now; as friend, lover, and soon a boyfriend. And it was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof guys!! i don't know if i should end it here ? i like open endings but i'm whipped for luwoo domestic shit so does anyone want a bonus chapter of stupid lovey-dovey (and smutty ;) ) scenes??? idk let me know down below and make sure to leave kudos if you enjoyed!! thank you so much for all the support uwu hope the angst didn't hurt you too much
> 
> -m <3


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